A few days in to my Nan's (almost) week long funeral, my cousins Leah and Courtney, and I left the Marae for some time out. That day is the earliest memory that I can recall, where a specific behaviour trait that I have took place.
On that day we walked the couple of kilometres back to what was Nan & Papa's house. As soon as we arrived I convinced my cousins that they needed to eat something. And so I cooked. Well, I prepared... Ham and cheese toasted sandwiches. Now, when I am stressed,or something bad happens,or people are in a terrible situation, it is my natural instinct to feed people. I'm not sure if it is the distraction of preparing food that acts as a form of therapy for me, or whether it is ingrained in my psyche from Nan herself to use the feed and nurture coping mechanism.
I heard the news that the Pike Mining Disaster had taken twenty nine lives on the radio. I turned the news on as soon as we got home. I cried and cried as I watched Peter Whitall bravely announce the news that I had prayed we would not ever have to hear.
I want to hold and comfort each of those family members who have lost an integral part of their lives. I want them to know how much we are all thinking of them, but at the same time I realise that this gesture would probably make no difference to them at all at such a devastating time.
After watching the news, I took a few moments. I went to the kitchen, and cooked dinner.
How I wish I could be in Greymouth tonight, cooking and feeding, or doing just any little thing to make this terrible day a little easier on those who need it most.
Those who have lost their lives, and their families and friends are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope for rescue may have been extinguished, but I pray for recovery, return, closure and comfort in the coming days.
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