"I will choose to stay and Love you."

I'm sure that you've heard it before, as it has been said through time, over and over that "You can't choose your Family." I'm sure even back in Antiquity that Medea's children, Abel and Jocasta would tend to agree.


The age-old quote is fact. You cannot choose who your family members are. But you do choose what sort of family you have.



After a trip to my Nan & Papa's old house and since baby Bayley's birth, I've been thinking a lot lately.



Who ever would have thought that a Stan Walker song would inspire these sorts of thoughts? But after listening to this song, I have come to a few conclusions:

• Love does take work. Not just romantic Love. It takes real effort to ensure a Family unit stays strong when we all live far apart.

• Loving your Family is, in many ways, a choice. It is so easy to caught up in how life is "so busy". You have to choose to commit yourself to the relationship, just like any other. Just because you're Family, that doesn't mean that you have no control at all over the situation. Not all of it, but some of it is an act of will.You can't just rely on that foundation of "we're Family, we all know we Love each other."

• Family hurt each other. Not always (hopefully?), but some time, it's bound to happen. As an adult, you have to let go of the wrongs that you were done as Children. What's the point of holding on to it? Air your issues, move on. After all, whether you choose to, or not, your Family is your Family. Forever. Yes I'm sure at times some of you would find it easier to walk away and cut all ties, rather than work through the difficult issues we faced as children or young adults. But in the long run, it isn't worth it. 

So I put this to my Family:



We only have one life. Why are we not spending as much time together as possible in this busy day and age?

OK, OK I know that we can't spend each weekend together. But we can make more of an effort than we are now.



Why are we holding so tight to all the amazing childhood memories that we have but making no effort to build new ones?



We need to make the time. I know that at Nan & Papa's funeral's there was one word that got repeated, over and over. Legacy. That is the Marae, but it's also our Family. It's who we are and what we know.



If not for yourself, then think about Bayley. It is our responsibility
to make sure that she knows where her Family come from. It's our job to
teach her about the amazing Family members who are no longer with us and to share the wisdom, Love and knowledge that they instilled in us. That is how a legacy lives on. In us. And now in the new generation, in her. If we all choose to make it happen. 

Most, but not all of my Family.