'Someday'

A few months ago, i watched a film, titled "Then she found me", which illustrates adoption, IVF and family in general. It is a beautiful, touching story, based on a novel (which i probably should read).

I wont spoil the plot too much, in case you want to watch it. In the film , Helen Hunt plays a character called April, who had been adopted in to a Jewish family, when she was an infant. April also has a brother, who was biologically conceived by their parents.

April, is 39, and is longing for a baby, and after her experience she refuses to adopt, claiming that "it's not the same" as having a child biologically. After the death of her adoptive mother, Aprils' birth mother makes contact, and together they teach each other the true meaning of family.

The most beautiful scenes for me, were both the the prayer scene and the closing scene which can be watched on YouTube. Unfortunately the prayer scene has to be watched in two parts. (If you do want to watch this film at a later time, do not watch the youtube clips)

Click here to watch the prayer scene (1/2). It starts at 7.00 minutes, but if you watch it from the start of the clip, it will give you a better understanding.

Click here to watch the end of the prayer scene and continue watching that clip, for the closing scene.

This film, changed me.

It changed the way that i think about adoption.

Fertility, IVF, Surrogacy and Adoption are all topics that i have thought a lot about. I do not claim to be an expert on any of these processes, and i certainly do not have any first hand experience to share with you all.

What i can share with you, if you did not already know, i have had some issues involving my baby making equipment.

That is not to say that when the time is right that i can not conceive naturally, or carry a baby myself. However since this all came to light, i have thought long and hard about my options, and done a little research.

What annoys me the most, is people telling me that i shouldn't even allow myself for a second to believe that i cannot have my own babies.

I do believe in the power of positive thinking. I do believe in the power of prayer. But i also know that life is no fairy tale and sometimes life does not play out the way we want it to.

The most common remarks i am told on this issue are:

"You don't know for sure until you try"

"People, who get told they cant have babies, a lot of the time end up naturally conceiving"

"Cross that bridge when you come to it"

And i understand that these people are trying to soothe my worries, but to all those comments i say, i know, but not all, and no. I cannot help but think about the possibilities. It's just not who i am.

For me, knowing the facts, and the options available to me, is a coping mechanism. A small group of close friends and family, who really understand how i operate emotionally, will understand this.

It's my way of knowing that someday, i will have children.

I know that i cannot possibly imagine how difficult that journey may be, but i know that i will make it. Not a day goes by that i do not feel for parents, who are bravely walking that journey.


The few things that this film, really highlighted for me is that faith and hope, will get you through, even when it feels like you've lost all sense of both. Secondly, so will your existing family. But above all, i took something from this film that i will hold in my heart forever.

Someday, i will have children, and whether they are born of my body, or of my heart - they will be mine.