"Dear, dear diary"

Over the weekend, Brad & I cleaned out our closet. We chucked some stuff out and boxed up the bits and pieces we want to hold on to. For some reason I've kept my yearly Diaries for the past Seven years. Here are some pages I found interesting from those Diaries.

Hayden, Sam & I

Brad & I, after his Sister's 21st

2007

Big Day Out

Drawn by Lu Galbraith, Stacey Stopped Smoking & Pay Day - What a week.

I heart One Red Dog

Collage

I'm so glad that I kept these. What great memories.I think I may continue to keep my Diaries for all of time. Or for as long as my storage space allows.

"May we never forget how very fortunate we are"

In light of recent events, it has been impossible for me to avoid Sandra Bullock. I've always enjoyed her acting diversity & her uncanny ability to make jest of her own misfortunes. This has been true, even in recent months. I cried when I listened to her Oscar acceptance speech. I cried when I re-watched the moment online, after the scandal broke. Despite her personal life, becoming a media circus, I believe her to be an incredible Woman. Here are my Top Five Sandra Bullock Movies.

5. Practical Magic.

This is the first Sandra Bullock Film I saw. I love how this Movie was cast. Stockard Channing, Nicole Kidman & Sandra Bullock. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.

4. While You Were Sleeping

I haven't seen this in many many years. I must watch this again soon. It's beautiful and says a lot for Human Nature - the good, the bad & the ugly.

3. Miss Congeniality

I was a teenager when this came out. I was genetically pre-disposed to enjoy it. I love how this Movie captures the essence of her quirky, quirky comedic abilities. "I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!"

2. The Proposal

Who would've predicted that Ryan Reynolds & Sandra Bullock would make a fantastic On-Screen couple. I love them together. The story was fairly predictable, but there were some sweet comedic moments that I really enjoyed. Like the Dance scene with Gammy, The singing scene, and this one... 

1. The Blind Side

I LOVE this Film. Love. The story is incredible. It is acted beautifully. Naturally. This is far from your average football success story. It is a moving commentary on the capacity of the human heart & what beautiful things the human spirit is capable of.  If you have been reluctant to see this movie, please watch the trailer below, and then re-evaluate.

"I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just thinkin' about you lately "

A good friend of mine once told me that "Time is the only constant." If you don't have a Faith, or are very cynical, then I guess for many people, this statement is true. That's sad. If you do have a Faith, then Time is not the only constant, but it is does make the short-list doesn't it?



I've just realised this evening that it's been almost an entire Decade since I finished Primary School. An entire decade. Ten years since I've seen some of the people who had a lasting effect on me. It just doesn't feel right. Tonight I'm thinking about how people change over time.



I've been thinking about a Boy I used to know. We were close, when we were young. We spoke to each other everyday on the phone, as well as seeing each other most days too. Our friendship didn't end on good terms. We had a huge fight over me not wanting to help him with his paper run. We didn't talk for almost two weeks. During our fight time, he moved away. I never heard from him again.



I've also been thinking about a girl who used to be my Best Friend.

How do you go from being Best Friends with someone for Ten years, seeing them almost every day, and then not have any contact with them, for the same amount of time that you were friends for? It's sad.

I'm not saying that our Friendship could have sustained itself at such a high intensity for another Ten years. But I do think that we both should have made the effort to keep in touch. We didn't.



Every time that I see Lime flavoured Soda, Sweet'n'Sour Pork & 'Pixie Caramel Balls' - I think of them both.



I saw another Boy that I grew up with, a few months ago. When I saw him, I couldn't help but think about what an amazing life he could have had. He had the world at his feet. For some reason or another he chose a bumpy path. I hope he is happy with his life.



When I chose this Posts' Title, all I could think about was yet another Boy I once knew. An amazing Boy, who went to my Primary School & my High School. When I was Fourteen, I returned to school from my Nan's funeral to some very bad news. This brilliant Boy had gone to Heaven. That was Eight years ago now. How has time moved so quickly?



Time is not the only constant, in my opinion. Although a Friendship might not be constant, there are many elements in my life that will remain always. Like Love.



Oh, by the way, the Girl that used to be my Best Friend, is now expecting her first child - so I hear. I wish I could congratulate her...







..Maybe I still can?

"Never Be The Same Again"

After talking with my Mum this evening we've made a few observations on the effects of Cancer. I'm not talking about treatment or illness or surgery. I'm talking about how Cancer changes people. A few ways that dealing with Cancer has changed me:

• I have become extremely unsympathetic. When people that I'm not that close with tell me they've had a bad day - I see an image of myself appear in a thought bubble above the head of the speaker. The 'Me' that is in the bubble is rolling its eyes at the real 'Me'. This is a new trait that has both positive and negative twists. One positive way to look at it is, my mind fogs over when people are complaining about pretend problems, a.k.a Drama. But on the other hand, just because someone doesn't have Cancer - doesn't mean that they don't have any problems at all. I guess I just need to learn to harness my new found "power."

• Cancer is a friend filter. I would not have been able to function through any of this, without the love and support of my friends. Some friends have always been here, and always will - that was no surprise. Some friends had always been around - but now, for some reason or another aren't. Perhaps they find it too hard, or just don't know what to say or do. They are similar to the Friend that acts like Cancer is a case of the Chicken Pox. I've found this the hardest to deal with. Then there are some friends who had drifted away on their own little boats, who miraculously rowed all the way back, to be by my side. Thank you to all of my Friends, for your eternal care, support & companion ship.

• I, by nature am an extremely emotional person. I cry to Songs, Oprah & the Birth of any Child. Any. I literally just caught thirty seconds of Grey's Anatomy, it was a birth scene. We have tears people.This aside, Cancer has emotionally stunted me. Before, I would feel anything and everything that my soul would allow. That's how I dealt with anything emotionally charged. Now, I feel like I am holding things in. Not on purpose, I just am. I feel like I am heavy sighing, and deep breathing my way though life. Then every now and again the stress will build up so high it bubbles over and I will have a tiny cry. Like less than a minute and it's over. Weird.

Who knows, maybe when all of this is behind us, I will return to my normal self. One way or another Cancer has changed me, and in some way's I will never be the same again.

"We are New Zealand"

Happy Top Five Friday. I hope you've all had a better week than me.Yes - the Fossa are still on attack.

My favourite show is due to return to our screens very soon. So today I'm counting down my Top Five favourite New Zealand TV Shows.

5. Police 10-7

I love watching some of our Nations finest Police Officers take down some of our Nations biggest idiots. Also this was quite a laugh...

4. Shortland Street

I used to adore Shortland Street. Now I don't mind it - but I'm not really into it. I loved the characters of the 90's, with their harsh Kiwi Accents, blue eyeshadow & permed hair. I also love how in the 90's not as many characters died. Now, some one pops their clogs every 10 working days. And my reaction - "Oh, another?"

3. 7 Days

Most nights, I find this to be hilarious. However, as it is with most modern comedy, there's always one who crosses the line in to not funny-ville. I also find Ben Hurley & Dai Henwood to be deliciously cute.

2. Go Girls

Love it! This is an interpretation of friendship, in my age bracket, that I can relate to well. Also, it is funny & there are more cute boys. What's not to Love?

1. Outrageous Fortune

Can't wait for it to begin again (Michael Finnigan). I love how it brings an equal mix of wit, drama, bawdiness & Westie "humour". I also love how the title for every episode is extracted from Macbeth.

Your thoughts are welcome. Sound off below.

If you and I don't catch up often, you're probably not aware that we are saving for a Holiday. A big Holiday. A Working Holiday - in Europe. In 2012 my Mum, Stepdad, Sister, Partner & I will travel to the U.K for a three week family Holiday to visit relatives. It will my Mum's first trip back to her home land in 37 years. Brad, Kelsey & plan to stay on for our O.E for at least a year.
Today I'm counting down the Top Five European sights I want to visit.   

5.

4.

3.

2. Eiffel Tower

1. Pathenon

I have a confession to make. I am a GLEEK. I Love Glee. Love!

A couple of weeks episode, was one of my favourite so far this season. th eepisode is called "The Power of Madonna".

I have been a fan of Madonna's music for a long long time. Not a fan of the lady herself really - just her Music. Yeah that's right I'm not afraid to "use" Celebrities just for their talent. Today I'm counting down my Top Five Madonna Songs. Enjoy!

"They will see us waving from such great heights"

When I was a little girl, I would often have sleep-overs at my Mum's Parents house in Carterton.

On Saturday mornings Nan & Grandad would wake me up very, very, very early. I would put on my dressing gown and slippers & walk in a zombie like fashion to the dining room. Nan would always have made cups of tea for Grandad and herself, and a cup of Milo for me. We would all stand at the dining room window, and Nan would pull back the curtains to reveal something magical. Something like this...

Image courtesy of  http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

A few months ago we went to the Wairarapa. We went to Greytown and stayed in a cute little cottage. On Saturday morning we woke up very, very, very early and travelled to Masterton. This was our first attempt at cashing in my gift voucher that Brad had given me for my Birthday in January. Brad bought me a voucher to go on a Hot Air Balloon ride. It was such a surprise, I had no idea I was getting such a generous, thoughtful gift. I am so lucky to have an amazing partner. Unfortunately it was too windy for a Balloon Flight. Here are the pictures from our Balloon attempt 1.0.

   

When we found out that we wouldn't be able to take our flight we took a drive out to Castlepoint - as Brad had never been.

 

Even though we didn't get to take our flight, we still had an awesome weekend. We tried again over the long weekend to use our voucher, with no luck.

Fingers crossed for Balloon attempt 3.0.

"Let's talk about Sex"

'Sex & the Suburbs' is a new segment I am starting on In My Shoes.

No, I wont be discussing nitty-gritty details. I will be talking about attitudes towards Sex, and thoughts from my Friends and myself, on the subject.

I've made this bright & eye-catching header, so that you don't feel ambushed by "sexual" content. If you don't want to know, when you see the header above, that is your cue to "excuse yourself from the room." The choice is completely yours, so don't say you weren't warned.

Why introduce a segment like this now?

Well over the past few weeks I have listened to a lot of Women and...Men discuss their emotional connection and feelings towards Sex. It really has interested me, as I often think that alot of young people, who aren't in relationships, aren't concerned with the intimate side of being intimate.

Turns out - I was wrong.

My goal is to ask questions, get answers & uncover the truth, about attitudes towards Sex in 2010.

I will try to write in a tasteful manner, but I won't let good manners get in the way of the truth.

Some of the first topics up for discussions are:

Intimacy

Body Confidence & Expectations

Sexually Transmitted Infections

Try-Sexual: A new Sexual orientation?

If you would like to take part in my surveys for any or all of these topics, please e-mail me. Privacy is 100% assured. 

P.S   I know that some of you are probably thinking "But you're Mum is on Blogger?!"

In case you haven't noticed, my Mum isn't exactly shy when it comes to these things.

"This spot is my paternal home, It is my pleasant Heritage"

Since Mum was diagnosed, I have felt an urge to get familiar with my heritage. My Mum's Family's heritage is a little hard to follow. Also, a Cousin in England is working on a Family Tree for her side of the family, so I have started with my Dads side.

Researching my Family History has been so addictive. So addictive.

It's really annoying when you get to an obstacle, you're sure you will never be able to get passed it. Never.

And then you do. It is such a rush.

I feel like by finding out about my ancestors, I am honouring them and that makes me really happy. Some of the stories are really sad, and have effected me more than I thought they would have. I feel like, although I can never truly know them, I can learn a little bit about them. I respect them greatly. I hope to do their memory proud and to take a little piece of them with me, on my journey through this life.

So far, I have found the Great-great Grandparents of my Paternal Grandfather.

I have also found the Great-great-great-great Grandmother (who was born in 1722), of my Paternal Grandmother.

It is so cool to have amazing people and resources, so that I can access information on my Ancestors. I feel very lucky.



Who knows, in hundreds of years to come, what my Decendants might find out about me?

My Great-Grandfather & Me, Christmas Day 1990

"The Fossa are attacking!"

When I was growing up, I was known to be a tad accident prone. My Mum used to laugh my little incidents off by saying "Oh Nicole, you could hurt yourself playing tiddlywinks!"

This seemed to suffice her spirit, until one day I actually did hurt myself playing tiddlywinks.

I took an air born counter to the eye.

It was my own counter.



As I grew older, I seemed to shake my clumsy tendencies. Today I would not call myself accident prone. However, every now and again I stumble back across my accident prone curse. It usually lasts for a week or so. After watching a certain Children's (really?) Animated Film, I decided to dub this unusual phenomenon the Fossa. In case you haven't seen this particular Movie delight, the Fossa are a breed of carnivorous mammal.



This week the Fossa have been attacking.



We started the weekend off by heading to the Wairarapa to try once again to use the voucher Brad had given me for my Birthday way back in January. We couldn't. So we came home late Sunday night. I wish now that we had stayed the night anyway.

Monday saw us pack a few bags to go and stay at Brad's Parent' house for a few days. This was fine until Tuesday morning. Kelsey, my sister, had sent e a text message to say her face now looked like that of a cabbage patch doll, due to her immensely painful wisdom teeth. She was unsure of what to do, or how she would be able to pay for treatment. So I made a few appointments for her, and left the house in the freezing cold and rain to get to her in Wellington City.



I left the house on time, to see a bus heading in the opposite direction that I was headed. The bus stopped and the driver asked me if I wanted to go on his bus instead. I declined. Stupid Fossa on the brain. Fifteen minutes after my bus was due to arrive I rang the phone number on the bus stop to be told, that the timetable I was looking at was actually out of date. I was told to walk down to Raumati Beach to try and catch another bus from there. At Raumati I crossed the road and in a boots meet wet-pavement scenario, I slipped. I slipped backwards, and wobbled round like a crazy person ("You didn't see anything".)

I managed to stop myself from falling, and put my back out. I could still walk slowly, but when I arrived at the Bus Stop I was unable to sit down. That's when the real pain set in. I couldn't take a deep breathe without going weak at the knees.



With the help of my cellphone, ice, Panadol and my entire household family, I managed to get to Kelsey. We went to the Dentist, a found out she would have to have all four wisdom teeth surgically removed. Perhaps the Fossa effect is spreading?



Last night we packed our bags to come home. We arrived home and I got out of the Ute. I went to open the door to get my bags, and smacked myself in the head with the door. The next thing I knew, I was face down on the front lawn, with a really sore head.



Then, minutes before I sat to write this post, I was curling my eyelashes, when I pulled the device away without opening it properly. Eyelash curler or remover?



Please tell me that the Fossa attack you too? Please tell me I'm not all alone in this..

"If music be the food of love, play on." - William Shakespeare

When I go to the Gym, or drag myself out for a walk, there is no doubt, there is one thing that gets me through. Music. If I can distract myself with a good song, I can make it through almost any workout. Today I'm stacking up my Top Five Favourite Workout Songs for the week.

5. Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind.

This is an unusual choice of workout song for me. It's not exactly as upbeat as the others, but it is funky & powerful.

4. 3OH!3 - Starstruckk.

Love this song. Throw a sweet, syrupy, fast-paced pop song at me, with a Dance Track twist, and I am on board in a big way.

3. La Roux - Bullet Proof.

Electro-Pop-Perfection. "Buuuuuuulet Prooooooof". Love it.

2. David Guetta - Memories.

I love the Bass beat of this song, it makes me want to run faster, row further, cycle quicker.

1. Rikki Lee Coulter - Can't touch it.

I love everything about this song. It's a great Girl Anthem, and it has a fantastic feel. Sometimes I catch myself dancing on the treadmill, when listening to this song. Brad has started to notice too...maybe I should stop that?

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

OK, so it's official, I'm a naughty Blogger. Sorry. Friday has been and gone, and there has yet to be a 'Top Five Friday' Post. As I have failed miserably to comply with my own, already low standards, I am using this as inspiration.

The Top Five 'Fail's' I was involved in on Friday.





5. Being a high maintenance packer.



On Friday I lugged the following items down the road, on the bus, on the train, to Tawa, to Wellington, on another train, then all around town until 7pm, then back on the train home. Phew.



*Deep Breath. My large handbag, camera bag backpack and another large bag containing make-up, hair products, hair brushes, a GHD, two pairs of shoes, an evening bag, a few accessories and a complete outfit change.



FAIL lesson: Learn to pack only what you require, by outfit planning, including a full dress-rehearsal the night before an event.







4. MK being sick.



MK was a star last week. Well she always is, but she shone extra bright this past week. She managed to get seven ladies to deposit money into her bank account, get in to town, and secure our tickets (in awesome seats might I add) to our film of choice. A sheer miracle.



Half an hour before, we were all supposed to meet at the pre-booked restaurant, MK called to say that she was ill and couldn't make it. I was so gutted for her. She dropped the tickets off and drove herself home - vomiting along the way. Poor girl. Wish she could have been there. She is feeling a little better now, which is good news.



FAIL lesson: If your Kids are sick, stay home with them. Don't let your poor Nanny get their belly bugs.







3. Wearing new shoes for the first time - out on the town



Rookie mistake. Amateur behaviour. I know better than to act like this. There is no one else to blame but myself. Lack of foot support + wet concrete + zipping your own skin into your shoe = FAIL.

I think the fact that I then had to wear my red shoes & deal with the anxiety of people recognising I was wearing pink fingernails AND red shoes at the same time served as due punishment.



FAIL lesson: Don't let your love of new shoes spin you in to a stupid frenzy, Stupid!





2. Not checking the TranzMetro timetable.



If I had indeed made my blogging deadline, this probably would have taken the cake.

When Serenity & I get ready together, we seem to lose track of the time (and appliance's we've switched on), every single time. We spend ages getting ready then have to run down the street in a hurry to make a Bus or Train. By the time we get to our destination we look flustered and shiny, and all those hours getting ready has already been un-done. Well on Friday I promised myself It would not go down like that. We were going to leave the house, cruise to the train station, and arrive looking composed and decent.

I checked with Serenity to confirm the train timetable. I time-managed my getting ready tasks. I checked the time frequently to ensure I met these time limits.



We had four minutes to go before we needed to leave, and I was just putting my dress on when Serenity called out "I'm just going to ring & double-check the train timetable."

When I heard her say "You're Joking?!" my heart sank.

"What?" I yelled.

"The train leaves in less than five minutes!"

Luckily she lives close to the station. Unluckily, my plan had yet again failed.



I chucked on some shoes & threw everything else in my bag, grabbed the camera, and we were out the door. We pretty much ran all the way there. We are both fairly unfit and asthmatic. We were dying. I was not going to let any of those factors ruin our night.

"Come on Ren!" I yelled, storming ahead.

"We are crossing the tracks, we've made it Fool, you can stop running now!" She replied.

 "We haven't made it, until we are ON the platform!"



The cost of running, in full make-up & a silk dress, with three huge & heavy bags, in broad daylight?

An Asthma attack.



Getting on the train and concluding, "More like Stress & the City?" Priceless.





FAIL lesson: Learn to drive already.







1. Forgetting to post a Top Five Friday on 'In My Shoes'



There really is just one thing to say. Out of all of the things on this list that were in my control, this is the one I regret the most.



FAIL lesson: Give scheduling another try.

"Children get older, I'm getting older too.."

On Friday, I slacked off on my blogging responsibilities to spend the morning with my gal-pal Serenity & her Ladybug. Here are some casual pics I snapped, whilst Buggie was having her morning tea & when Serenity read her a story.

Bug

Dear Zoo.

After these were taken, we headed to Wellington to visit Mariah & her kids, Theo & Sadie.

It was so good to catch up. So good. It had literally been years since I had seen Mariah in the flesh. Years. Life has changed so much since we had seen each other - even though we've always kept in touch. I made a pact to myself to never let it go that long again. Promise.

Theo & Eden had a lot of fun.

Sadie, had just woken up from a nap. She was not so keen on having her picture taken by me. Even so, she still looks as adorable as ever in these.

Sadie

Thanks ladies for a lovely day - and to M for those awesome scones!

Oh I love spending time with my friends' children. I get to enjoy all the cuteness and don't have to worry about anything else. Like needing to pee and not being able to, "Muuuum...I'm finished!" and "Was that a fart or a poo?" 

One day...

"Ladies Let me see your hands up in the air, Ladies Show 'em what you got shake it all around"

On Friday night, I am going to the movies to see Sex & the City 2. I am really looking forward to it. We are going out for dinner first, and maybe a dance afterwards (I'm hopeful). The dress code is "If you're not wearing Heels Honey, don't bother showing up."

Naturally, I've seen a lot of press for SATC2 recently. I have seen alot of magazine spread headlines, such as...

 "Which SATC character are you?"

and

"Which SATC girl do you look most like?"

This got me to thinking, which SATC Girl are my girls most like? So I ran photo's through an online celebrity look-a-like programme. OK so none of us got any of the SATC girls, but some impressive look-a-likes none the less. The Name in green, is the one which I deem to be most accurate.

 

Sandra Bullock

Liv Tyler

Kirsten Dunst

Julia Roberts

Minnie Driver

Shalom Harlow

Katherine Heigel

Kate Winslet

J.K Rowling

Molly Ringwald

 

Thandie Newtown

Audrey Tautou

Mila Kunis

Shalom Harlow

Scarlett Johansson

 

Queen Latifah

Scarlett Johansson

Winona Ryder

Mariah Carey

Beyonce Knowles

 

Julianne Moore

Shirley Temple

Lee Hyori

Melissa Joan Hart

Charlize Theron

 

Jenna Elfman

Mary-Kate Olsen

Sheryl Crow

Kirsten Dunst

Tara Reid

Raven Symone

Eva Longoria

Martine McCutcheon

Ashlee Simpson

Natalie Portman

Rachel Leigh Cook

Camilla Belle

Kelly Clarkson

Delta Goodrem

Hilary Duff

NONE OF THE ABOVE