Over the past month there has been a lot of talk of Weddings & Marriage. A few of my friends voiced their concerns on whether their relationships will ever get to the knot-tying stage. A few friends talked about wondering if they will ever find the right person to Marry. Some Family members discussed their plan-to-get-engaged-plans. And then there's Brad & I. We talk about Marriage all the time. It's not something we're afraid to talk about. We share our hopes & dreams for our Wedding, Marriage and future together. But it's not something that we're thinking about now. There are so many things we want to do first. And that is fine by us. Which is why the situation that I'm about to re-tell came as such a surprise. It's not what you're thinking Mariah, so breathe Woman.
Last week I had an encounter of sorts with a young lady who was getting Married. At first she seemed lovely and kind and oh-so-in-love with her Hubby to be. After a few hours of high intensity problem solving, on a day where just about anything and everything could and would go wrong - she cracked. She cracked like Gretchen Weiners.
She launched a personal attack on my intelligence and competency over something that was completely out of my control.
At the end of the day I was angry and hurt. I had literally put six and a half hours of non-stop work in to what she wanted. No toilet breaks. No lunch time. No time for even jamming a Mandarin down my throat. Nothing.
I was on the verge of launching in to a Gretchen-esque tirade myself.
Instead I just simmered. I simmered all the way home, all through the night and well in to the next day.
When I get in such a mood, the problem spreads. I lose all ability to contain the anger regarding just the one issue, and let the negativity drown my sensibility. I had gone beyond being angry about just the "cracking" and started spewing about how the whole situation was totally unfair.
I found it to be unfair, that someone who could use such hurtful, unkind words against someone who was trying to help, was lucky enough to be getting Married. Was I jealous? What was there to be jealous of?
After much deliberation I've realised that getting Married or being Married has nothing to do with Luck.
Being Engaged, or getting Married doesn't make a couple more Lucky, or more in Love than any another Couple who Love each other. In my un-Married opinion a Marriage doesn't make a Relationship. A Relationship makes a Marriage.
Any two people can enter in to the sanctity of Marriage. The number of Couples that have a happy & healthy Marriage are quite different I'm sure.
I mean, I'm no expert, I could be wrong. One day I'll know for sure. What do you think?
So whilst I believe that Marriage is a beautiful thing, and a higher sense of commitment than just being in a Relationship, I believe that Luck is not defined by a beautiful dress, flowers & diamond rings. The Luck is in finding the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. And if I believe this to be true, and I know that in due course it will be our turn, then I can count myself one very lucky Girl...
...And so can you (you know who you are.)
So funny, you know I almost asked you if you were secretly engaged in a comment on a post a while back. I had to use serious control not to jump ahead in the story because you got me so excited. You knew you would. Love it.
ReplyDeleteAbout your questions... I definitely think it shouldn't be about a WEDDING, it should be about a marriage (although weddings are great, I'd love to have another). And I kind of don't know what the big deal is about getting married. No offense, but why can't you do all the stuff you want to do after getting married? What's the point in waiting if you're going to be together anyway? (My life choices probably make this opinion more obvious).
In a bit more of a deep conversation I believe that marriage has to do with God as well as commitment and is sacred and precious. So it is serious. Without wanting to step on any toes (I'm bound to) I think getting married makes someone a better person. Not simply because they are "married", but because the nature of marriage requires that of it's participants.
Being married is awesome. Can't wait for when it's your turn. I'd also love to see your book. :)
I totally hear you on the "If you know, why wait?" point. We feel 16 inside - so we just want to wait until we feel at least like almost adults. At this point travel, study and buying a house are steps we'd like to take first. It's not about the Love it's just about the lifestyle we want to live. For our lifestyle there is no urgency.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that Marriage is serious business. At this stage we've been together almost five years, and for four of which we've lived together. I know that this alone takes a lot of commitment and changes a person in some ways.
Still count myself a lucky girl.